開(kāi)心一刻笑話 捧腹英語(yǔ)笑話
1、Professor: When is your birthday? Kid: May 30. Professor: Which year? Kid: Every year.
教授：你的生日是什么時(shí)候?孩子：5月30日。教授：哪一年?孩子：每年都是。
2、A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
The boy replies, "Now we run!"
中文：
一個(gè)牧師正沿著街走路，這時(shí)他看到街對(duì)面有個(gè)小男孩正試圖按一所房子的門(mén)鈴。但這個(gè)小孩太小了，門(mén)鈴又高，他夠不著。
看到那個(gè)小男孩費(fèi)了很多勁，牧師走近了他。牧師優(yōu)雅地穿過(guò)馬路，走到小家伙的背后，輕輕地把手放在小男孩肩頭，按響了門(mén)鈴。
他彎下身子，微笑著問(wèn)道：“接下來(lái)怎么辦，孩子?”
小男孩回答說(shuō)：“接下來(lái)我們跑。”
3、It is June. The sun is in the sky, it is immense hot.
Josie is bored with school. She prefers to be at the beach with the tide.
She cannot sit in her seat. She cannot stop talking.
While the teacher writes on the board, Josie gets up and talks to one of her intimate friends. The teacher, Mr. Rolla, hears the noise and says. "Josie, sit down and be quiet." Josie sits down. Mr. Rolla continues with the lessons. Josie gets up and talks to another friend. "Sit down and be quiet. " Says Mr. Rolla. He is very annoyed with her. Josie continues talking.
"O.K." Mr. Rolla gets furious. "If you want to talk. Then come to the front of the classroom and be the teacher."
"All right, " agrees Josie. She comes to the front of the classroom and says, "Quiet, everyone. I am a new teacher, and I say class dismissed."
六月，太陽(yáng)高掛天空，天氣非常炎熱。
朱絲對(duì)上課很厭煩，她更想在海灘觀看潮起潮落。
她在座位上坐不住，不停地講話。
當(dāng)老師在黑板上寫(xiě)字時(shí)，朱絲站起來(lái)和一個(gè)朋友說(shuō)話，瑞拉老師聽(tīng)到了，就說(shuō)：“朱絲，坐下，安靜點(diǎn)。”朱絲坐下來(lái)，老師繼續(xù)講課，朱絲又站起來(lái)和另一個(gè)朋友說(shuō)話。“坐下，安靜點(diǎn)。”可是朱絲又站起來(lái)說(shuō)話，他生氣了。
“如果你想說(shuō)話，到教師前面來(lái)說(shuō)話吧，你當(dāng)老師吧。”老師憤怒地說(shuō)。
“好的，”朱絲說(shuō)。她走到教室前說(shuō)：“安靜點(diǎn)，同學(xué)們，我是新老師，現(xiàn)在下課。”
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